Difficult Decisions
by Standing on the Edge
Summary: 'As Jacob turned to walk down the mountain, the pain and emotion that came over me was unreal.' Bella starts to doubt her love for Jacob and Edward... Who does she choose? Set in Eclipse, just after the fight with the newborns! XD


**Hey guys! It's me, Paramore Fanatic 13 =) This is my second Twilight Fanfic… Jacob and Bella of course! TEAM JACOB FOREVER! XD So… Anyways, I hope u like this fanfic… And remember to Rate and Review! I just want my stories to be more popular… 'Cause I just feel like my fics aren't good 'cause not a lot of people are reviewing and I don't know if I should continue them, but I do anyways for the few people that enjoy them! Anyways… Enjoy! XD**

**Summary -_ 'As Jacob turned to walk down the mountain, the pain and emotion that came over me was unreal.' Bella starts to doubt her love for Jacob and Edward... She doesn't know who she wants to be with... Who does she choose? Set in Eclipse, just after the fight with the newborns! XD_**

**_BTW... This isn't gonna be one of those fics where Bella hates Edwards' guts and in the second chapter she's totally hung up on Jacob... It's gonna be nothing like that! XD_**

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**BELLA'S P.O.V **

As Jacob turned to walk down the mountain, the pain and emotion that came over me was unreal.

"Jacob! Stop! Don't go!" I shouted.

Jacob stopped and turned to look at me from where he stood.

"Why? Why shouldn't I Bella?" He snapped.

"Because you're too important!" I cried.

"That's not enough Bella." He growled.

"Because I don't want you to! I need you! Jake. Stay." I begged him.

"I'm done Bella. I am so done!" He yelled and started to walk again.

I can't believe this was happening. Jacob said he was going to 'take himself out of the picture'. I needed him with me. He's my best friend! My Personal Sun! If anything happened to him, I don't know what I'd do.

"Jacob!" I shrieked.

He stopped but didn't turn around.

Somehow, I can't say it. My lips won't move. It's so hard. But I have to try and find a way to, or else... I could lose Jacob forever.

"Kiss me." I stated, restlessly and pained.

Jacob turned around and eyed me.

"You're lying Bella." He said sharply.

I shook my head and the tears came on again. "No Jake! No! I'm not! You would know if I was lying! Look me in the eyes and see. I can't lie Jacob, you know I can't. Kiss me." I said, staring at Jacob as the emotional wreck I was.

Jacob's face twisted into all different kinds of emotions until he walked over to me in three long strides.

He looked down at me and I could feel his breath on my face, and I looked down, then from side-to-side, and then eventually looked up into his eyes, not knowing what I was doing.

He crushed his lips to mine and at first, it felt like I drowning in guilt, for doing this when I still had Edward, but, Jacob... _My Jacob_ was going to leave and kill himself. I couldn't let him do that.

I couldn't feel, hear, see or think about anything that wasn't Jacob. He slid his tongue across my bottom lip, and through all the passion and what was going on at the minute, I didn't resist. I let his tongue snake into my mouth and our tongues danced together. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he slid his hands down my waist.

I've never been kissed this way before. It was the feeling people say they get in the movies. Like, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside and everything else in life drowned out and it only focused on me and Jake.

It then hit me like an iceberg. I... I'm in-love with Jacob. No question. He was right. He always was. I just didn't realise I loved him until now. Shocker.

When the kiss was over, or at least, so I thought, Jake gently took my face in his hands and planted another another gentle kiss on my lips.

We stood there in silence as Jake looked out at the snow topped mountains.

"I gotta' go." He whispered.

I was about to object but he hushed me.

"I'll be back." He assured me and took off down the mountain.

I stood there, in awe at what had just happened. I just kissed Jacob. My best friend.

I sighed and bit my lip and squinted as I looked over the mountains. It really is a beautiful view, I had never thought about it before.

But, back to reality.

I took in a deep, shuddering breath and walked slowly back to Edward.

He stood there with a pained look on his face.

"Are... Are you mad?" I stuttered.

He shook his head and smiled his crooked smile at me.

"No. I'm not mad... Although, Jacob's thoughts are pretty loud." He sighed softly.

A certain werewolf Seth came out and grunted at me and I reached out and set my hand on his furry head.

"I'm really sorry Edward... About all this. None of this would be happening if it weren't for me. It's all my fault." I said, filled with guilt and looked down at my feet.

"It's not your fault Bella. Don't feel guilty. I-" When Edward didn't finish his sentence, I looked up and he had a face of anger and... Fear.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked, walking over to him and holding onto his arm.

"It's... Victoria... She knows that I wasn't fighting, so she came to look for us. I can hear her thoughts. She's getting closer." He said, looking around him and back at me.

I tightened my grip around his arm and he took a deep breath.

"She's not alone... Seth, go!" He exclaimed and Seth grunted again and ran up a small hill and jumped down to hide.

All of a sudden, a certain vampire came out of the trees. The boy that Charlie's been looking for, for over a year. Riley Biers.

There was then a snarl and Victoria was in a crouch position in a tree about a metre away from Riley.

"Riley. Don't do this. Victoria's just using you." Edward said calmly and clearly.

Nor Riley or Victoria took their deep, blood red eyes off me or Edward.

"She's just using you so she could get to Bella, to avenge her true mate, James." Edward then stated.

Riley then glanced over at Victoria.

"Don't listen to him Riley. He's lying. I love you." She said.

Riley looked back at me and swallowed.

"Think about it Riley. You're from Forks." Edward stated again.

Riley narrowed his eyes the slightest and nodded just a tiny bit. He looked back at Victoria and Victoria looked away to avoid his gaze.

"Riley. I love you. Don't listen to Edward Cullen. I told you, the Cullen's play with your thoughts." She snarled.

I looked back at Riley then up at Edward.

"You're dead Cullen." Riley said simply.

But, as he said that, a familiar sandy wolf jumped out of the trees and bit at Riley's neck.

The two started fighting and Victoria turned to run off.

"YOU WON'T GET ANOTHER CHANCE IF YOU RUN NOW." Edward boomed.

Victoria turned around to face us.

"Bella's all vulnerable now. You'll never get another chance like this again." He stated.

Victoria looked at me and her breathing went uneven, if that's even possible.

"You just want me to feel the pain that you felt when I killed James." Edward growled. "When I ripped him to shreds and burnt him alive." He then said slowly.

Victoria started taking deep breaths, but growling all the more.

"You'll never get him back." Edward then stated.

That's when Victoria cracked and screamed and tried to run at me. I flinched but Edward grabbed her by the jacket and pulled her back, sending her straight into a tree.

I ran by the fighting Seth and Riley and beside a pine tree while Edward pushed down the tree Victoria was in.

She skidded along the ground towards me and when she was just about to pounce for me, Edward grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.

I watched Edward and Victoria fight, and kept looking over at Seth to see if he was alright. He is only 15 after all. He was doing a pretty good job, because he ripped one of Riley's hands off.

Riley was kicking at him and at one stage, kicked him in the head and Seth knocked his head of a rock and fell to the ground.

"SETH!" I yelled.

Riley then went to help Victoria fight Edward and I couldn't take it. Edward was getting beat.

Then I remembered a legend that the Quileute Elders told me.

I looked around frantically for something sharp or some certain item.

I found a sharp rock and took a deep breath and cut my arm, making Victoria and Riley look up and inhale.

The blood dripped down my arm and before they started to walk over, Seth pounced on Riley and got him by the neck and started trailing him away.

"VICTORIA!" Riley screamed as Seth dragged him over the same hill he came from.

Edward and Victoria were literally at each other's throats, but Edward got in there and bit Victoria's neck and she shattered into small pieces of ceramic stone.

My eyes widened and I looked down at the pieces. Victoria is finally dead. No more vampires after me. I'm free. YES!

Edward grunted and came over to me and ripped the bottom of my shirt and wrapped it tightly around where I cut myself.

He then took out a box of matches form his pocket and lit one and threw it at was once Victoria.

Seth then came trotting over the hill and it looked like he was smiling.

I gave a very weak smiled and stroked him. He licked my hand and panted.

"Good going Seth." I whispered.

He nodded his furry head once and barked.

"We need to go down to the clearing. The battle is over." Edward told me, kissing my temple.

He then put me on his back and we all ran down to the clearing.

When we got there, the wolves were still, well, wolves and the Cullen's all hugged me.

Then, out of nowhere, one other newborn came out from behind a tree and a wolf which I assumed was Leah, ran to it to defeat it.

"LEAH. DON'T!" Edward yelled.

Jacob -the big russet werewolf he is- came trotting out of the trees and saw Leah and ran at her and jumped, taking the newborn by the neck.

I watched, terrified at what was happening.

The newborn somehow got its arms around Jacob and Jacob whined and dropped to the ground.

Edward then ran at it and ripped its arms out of its body and lit it with another match.

Jake phased back to human again and was on the ground, writhing in pain.

"JAKE!" I screamed and ran to him.

He was covered in sweat and he was crying just a little.

Carlisle was already at his side, given his amazing speed.

"I'll take care of you, don't worry." Carlisle said endearingly.

"Bella...?" Jake croaked.

"Jake, I'm right here." I said, taking his good hand in mine.

"The bones on the right side of his body are shattered. The healing's already begun and I'm afraid they'll repair the wrong way. I'm going to have to re-break his bones." Carlisle said.

I looked up at him and Edward and felt tears sting the back of my eyes.

The other werewolves came back out, phased to human again, and crowded around Jake.

"JACOB. YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT. I COULD'VE TAKEN OUT THAT LEECH." Leah yelled.

"Leah." Sam warned in his Alpha-tone and Leah immediately shut her mouth.

"I'll be round at Billy's as soon as I can. I just need to get my things." Edward told Sam.

Sam nodded and all the pack leaned over Jacob and lifted him gently but firmly and started walking to Billy's.

"I have to go see if he's okay." I told Edward and was about to take off for my truck when Edward gently took my wrist and pulled me back to him.

"Edward. Don't. Jacob's my best friend. I need to be with him." I said sternly.

"But the wolves have no control over their anger." He told me.

"I highly doubt that they'll be angry Edward." I said sourly.

Edward sighed and let go of my wrist.

"I'll see you soon." I told him and ran off to my truck as fast as I could.

I got into my truck and put my keys in the ignition and it roared to life.

I literally sped down to the Reservation and I'm sure glad Charlie's a cop, because if I was caught, he would be able to sort things out. Luckily I wasn't though.

When I got to Billy's house, the pack and Billy were waiting outside, all looking down at their feet.

I got out of my truck and just as I was about to ask Sam how Jake was, there was a loud agonizing scream. Jacob.

I gave a small gasp and looked at the house, all the pack looked up at me and just then, Carlisle came walking out of the house.

"The worst is over now. I've given him some morphine... But I'm pretty sure his body temperature will burn it off fairly quickly, I'll be back with more soon." He said, looking at me mostly then down to Billy.

Billy looked up to him. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen." He said, with tears glistening in his eyes and he stuck out his hand.

Carlisle gave him a small smile. "Any time." He said and shook Billy's hand.

Carlisle then turned to me and gave a small smile.

"He's asking for you." He tells me, then he disappeared, just like that.

I looked to Billy for approval and he nodded.

I looked at all the other pack members and looked in at the house and ran up the steps into the small, but cosy home.

I walked down the narrow hallway that led to Jacob's bedroom.

The door was slightly open and I knocked gently first, and then opened the door.

"Hey Jake." I said quietly.

Jake lay there, crippled, sweating and looked up at me with slits for eyes.

"Hey." He breathed.

I walked in and closed the door behind me and kneeled down beside his bed.

"How are you?" I asked quietly.

"Not too bad. Half my body is shattered, but apart from that, I'm peachy." He replied, just as quiet as me. "But how are you? I was worried about you." He told me.

I felt guilt wash over me for the third time today again.

"You were worried about me?" I asked, a small and quiet laugh that could have passed for a sigh escaped my throat.

"I thought Edward might have taken anger out on you." He breathed.

I scanned my eyes over his silky skin and chiseled features.

"He wasn't even mad at me." I told him.

Jacob raised his eyebrows and sighed. "He's better than I thought." He sighed.

I blinked and swallowed and started stroking Jacob's shiny black hair that was drenched in sweat. But, I don't mind. I love him... Don't I?

"Bella...?" He whispered.

"Yeah?" I whispered back and trailed my finger gently down his right cheek and brought my hand back to myself.

"If I tell you something... Do you promise not to get angry at me?" He asked.

"Of course Jakey... You can tell me anything." I reminded him.

"Yeah... Bella, I'm exactly right for you. If we were together, it would be as easy as breathing... I know, you're still totally hung on Cullen... But please, think it over before you answer." He pleaded me.

I took in a deep breath and looked out Jacob's window at the moon and stars and a couple twinkled down.

I did think about what Jacob said, of course.

He tells me every day that he loves me. But at first I thought he just meant friend wise. But now I see what he means. He's in-love with me, and... Always has been. He tells me he can give me everything and anything I ever wanted. Love, a family, life... And so much more. Oh my gosh... This is so hard! I think I love Jacob too, but I think I love Edward as well? ! It's just messed up! I can't be in-love with two people! Not a vampire and a werewolf. Two mortal enemies... My boyfriend and my best friend. Why now God? Why now?

"Bella?" Jake took me out of my reverie and I looked down at him and smiled sweetly.

"I have to think about it Jake. I promise I will. I've taken everything into account... Now I just need to fit the pieces together... In the meantime, can we just stay friends until I figure everything out?" I asked him.

He sort of smiled back at me. Gosh... I love his smiles. I love his attitude. I love his personality. I love his features... I love his... Everything! UGH!

"Sure Bella. Sure thing... It's the thought that counts right?" He asked.

I looked down and smiled. "Yeah Jake... Yeah. I'll still love you no matter what happens, and you always remember that. Right?" I told him and looked at him.

"Yeah." He croaked.

We sat there in silence for a minute or so until Jacob spoke up again.

"Bella? About that kiss..." He started.

My eyes widened and I cleared my throat.

"Uh-huh..."

"Do you... Regret it?" He asked.

I was little overcome by rage for a minute, then it turned into shock, then anxiety, then wonder... Did I regret it?

"Bells?"

"No Jacob. No, I don't regret it... And I never will." I told him.

He sighed. "Good."

I then lowered my face to his, so they were just inches apart.

"Why?" I whispered.

"I thought you hated me or something..." He muttered.

Now **THAT**... He just crossed the line.

"Jacob. How could you think I would hate you? I love you and you know that." I scowled him.

"I know that now Bella. I just, didn't know at the time." He sighed.

"I love you Jacob." I told him.

He moved his head so he could look up at me.

"I love you so much Bella... Please... Choose me. I can give you everything." He told me. "You wouldn't have to change for me Bella. We're perfect for each other." He begged me.

I looked away and a tiny tear escaped my eye.

"I know Jake... Believe me, I know." I groaned.

Then, I started fumbling with my fingers and thought again.

I've been telling Edward that I've wanted to become a vampire, and after what Jacob has been telling me, the idea seems... Not so great. I would be stuck in the same body, never changing, staying alive for God-knows-how-long. Forever. Literally, forever. And, I wouldn't be able to have kids. I've never thought that much about children before... But for some reason, I can picture little black haired kids running about the place.

I wouldn't have to... Die.

Well, that's given me **a lot** to think about.

"Bells?" Jacob asked in a worried tone.

"Mmhm?" I mumbled.

"Are you alright? 'Cause you've been in your own little world for a while now." Jacob told me, sounding concerned.

"Um, yeah. I'm fine. I was just, thinking." I told him in all honesty.

His concerned look turned into relief then he relaxed again.

"Oh, yeah. Of course. I understand." He told me sweetly.

That's another thing I love about Jake. He's always patient with me and he always waits for me if I'm in a daze or whatever.

But Edward is different than that. Sure, he's patient too. He always waits. But his style is different.

Jacob treats me like a lover and a best friend... But Edward treats me like... Well... A daughter and a sister.

"Jacob... I-I... I think I need to go and take care of something... But I'll try and get back to you, okay?" I told him softly.

Jake's face overcame with sadness and pain. "Oh..." Was all he said.

I hate seeing Jake like this. I hate it when he's sad. It really makes me want to do something to really make him happy again. But I don't know what.

"Really Jacob... It's good that I'm taking care of it now..." I said softly again.

He looked up at me with those dark brown eyes I've come to love so much.

"You promise you'll come and see me again? Because I think my my heart's been broken enough times already. I don't think it has the energy to heal itself again." He told me.

That made me feel a little heartbroken myself. Knowing what I've been doing to Jacob. Toying with his heart and emotions.

I nodded. "I, Bella Swan. Promise you, Jacob Black, that I will come and see you again." I told him, stroking his black cropped hair.

He grinned sheepishly and I smiled back at him and stood up and made my way to his bedroom door.

"Bella! Wait!" He called, then winced afterwards.

I spun round. "Yes?"

"Whatever happens. I'm still gonna' fight for you. I don't care if you're getting married. I'm still gonna' fight." He said weakly, but with courage.

I curved my lips and they twisted into a small smile.

"Until my heart stops beating, right?" I whispered.

Jake smiled. "Right." He said quietly, and with that, I think he fell asleep.

He looked so peaceful. I quietly walked back over to him and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

I walked back out the door and closed it gently and walked back out to my truck after saying my goodbyes and giving out my hugs to the pack.

Now... Off to make the decision.

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**IMPORTANT NOTE... I fixed up the first chapter! Because I didn't want this Fanfic to be simple... It's gonna be different for me! XD**

**Hey guys! I really hope you liked the first chapter! XD I'm actually really looking forward to where this story is gonna go myself, so... If you're reading... Review! XD Get back to me and tell me what you think should happen! I've already started the second chapter, so it'll be up soon! XD**

**Peace Out! \m/ =)**


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